Possible Trigger Warning: I urge those who are suffering to reach out and get help. Also, I’m always persistent in saying that those who are suffering are not alone. It’s comforting and strengthening to know that everyone has support out there. With that being said, please note that this is not a therapy blog giving treatment, etc. This is just simply my meaning of recovery (as the title entails).
September 2016: National Recovery Month
I’m not going to make this post long because let’s face it: When talking about eating disorder recoveries (or ANY recoveries for that matter), the words regarding the disorder can be endless. Here’s to being alive, grateful, and…blogging about my meaning of recovery.
What recovery means to me: Simple and to the Point
Notice how I put the word, recovery, in italics. I did this to emphasize the notion that the term can have multiple meanings when you think about it. Besides the textbook and overall written definition of the term, the meaning of recovery can take on a different explanation for everyone. As a multiple eating disorder survivor who found herself in relapses, my understanding of recovery was ever-changing. First, it was the idea of living in a perfect world enjoying everything going m
y way (I was twelve, people…). Second and third and so on, it was the idea of never being tempted and hearing an ED’s “voice” again. Fast forward to now, my meaning of recovery has transformed into a meaningful notion: Recovery is the ability to not give into your eating disorder. Of course, this sounds like common sense from people who might say to a an eating disorder warrior (yes, warrior…we fight and continue to fight hard) “Just eat” or “Don’t think about it”, but some people know that is just simply not the case.
I’ve been healthy and in recovery for over three years now and I WILL NOT relapse. Besides, cannolis exist. Although I’m a firm believer that being 100% fully recovered from an eating disorder is not possible through the belief that you can have an eating disorder free life if you work hard at it no matter what, I believe that an ED’s voice will always be laying dormant waiting. I won’t – and have not – been living my life thinking about this lurking shadow of myself though. Although easier said than done, a life without questioning and living with tormenting anxiety over your next meal is possible if one works at it. It won’t happen over night and it won’t, most certainly, happen if no progress and changes in one’s mindset is not changed. It’s hard. No, not hard. It’s not hard. It’s exceedingly tough to admit you have a problem and get help. It’s definitely not a party during treatment either; however, the wonderful feeling of being happier, more content, etc. is always right there cheering you on. That’s all for now.